You may have noticed I just have not been blogging lately. I haven’t really have that much to say. But with everything that happened with the truck, and then being excited about the engagement, I just really have not been focusing on my program. And as a result three weeks later, I have lost absolutely no weight.
But I have to say is another stuff going on that has made it difficult to focus on my journey. Last week a friend literally broke my heart. She broke up with me via text! She sent me a text saying that she didn’t want to be friends anymore, she just wanted to be friends on Facebook. And that really hurt. Under different circumstances, I wanted this woman and her husband to stand with us at our wedding. Needless to say her words were very hurtful, and it has left me doubting myself.
I have always said that one of the best things about turning 40, was the removal of some of the filters that it prevented me from feeling comfortable with being myself. I am comfortable with being myself, I like the woman I have become . But I do have to say that I am now doubting that I am really the best woman I can be. Is there something wrong with me? Is it wrong to wear my heart on my sleeve the way I do? And even worse, now I am doubting the friendships that I know in my head to be strong, but my fragile heart is doubtful.
Any who, I’ll be letting go of the self-doubts that make it really difficult to focus on my goals. But at the end of the day I know I am worth the effort, and I know that I am a good friend. If one person has something going on in their life that is caused her to not want me in hers, that doesn’t mean there something wrong with me. Maybe I’m just not a good fit for her life right now but breaking up with a friend via a text is in poor taste. So I don’t need that person my life, and I’m going to get back to the business of getting healthy, working out, and getting ready for my wedding. And coming up with entertaining and motivating thoughts to share.